Sunday, 24 February 2013

'The Loved Ones' (2009)



Why I took so long to watch 'The Loved Ones'

I knew someone from Twilight was in it. I am not an ignorant Twilight hater. I vowed never to watch nor read Twilight, and then a friend somehow wangled me into watching 3 of the Twilight movies... And I have my opinion intact, I wish I could have those hours back but then again at least I am dislike them when at least having seen some of them.

I kept hearing generally rather splendid things about it but the Twilight-ness of it kept putting me off, then I sort of forgot about the Twilight-related-ness because so much time had went by from when I first heard about it to getting round to picking it up on blu-ray. Time as in years, literally 3-4 years.

What have I learned about a random shitty reason like that putting me off watching a movie...? Don't listen to myself going "Eurgh that's the dude from.... (insert a crappy movie here)"

Similar happened when said friend who made me watch Twilight was watching a movie I picked one evening for us to watch... 'Dread'. I'm glad, because I like that movie, that I didn't know, and she pointed out to me that, some other dude from Twilight is the lead. Had I known that going in, perhaps I would never had picked up the Clive Barker 3-pack with 'Dread' in it.



Another reason I eventually got my ass to see it? It appeared on a few Top 10 lists last year on horror sites... which made me remember this movie from years back and be all... "how is it on a 2012 list?" I figure it took years to hit America, just like Mandy Lane.

Back to 'The Loved Ones' however... Dayum I wish I'd bothered my ass to watch it sooner.

I do not love the movie as a whole entity but there are key scenes and moments that for a horror fan you have to see. I was saddened that there was parts of the movie I just didn't care about, since after I picked it up my family got to watch it before me and preceded to hype the shit out of it for me. I don't take kindly to that, I try to keep my expectations low so I'm not disappointed.


A plus point for me not loving the entire movie is that the running time is small, so it whacks by quick through the character development. Please don't take that as all I'm interested in is "kills" and "gore".

I love the Saw franchise but I love it for the characters not just the traps.

Fact is with 'The Loved Ones' I didn't like the lead. The guy rubbed me the wrong way but credit to them finding my humanity, when the shit goes down I sort of felt sorry for the guy. Sort of. Ok, more accurately I thought about what it would be like for me to go through what he went through. So its close enough as we are gonna get to me caring for the dude.

The sub-plot, I get why it is there. We need a break from the torture, the gore. We are shown what Brent would be doing if he went to his Prom... but I just didn't care about his friend and his date... Maybe I am just here for the gore...??








He killed his father in a car accident, and is a boring moody emo son of a bitch.



I actually liked the killers... shocker! We never glorify the killers in horror films...


Anyone else think their wallpaper looks like the carpet from 'The Shining'? Just a random thought.

Ok back to that sub-plot... Lola kidnapped and tortured Brent's friends dates brother... and he was the dude that Brent almost ran over which caused the car accident that killed his father. Guess that connects everyone in the movie. Still, I don't care... but damn if I'm sort of talking myself into liking the sub-plot... but when watching it I didn't like it, so there. I like Princess Lola.



So the sequences I loved in this, and loved in such a way I have not been able to go back and re-watch as it was so painful to watch... this is a compliment, honest... is everything that happens from when Brent is tortured inside Lola's home. 

Lola asks him out to prom, he says no, and she is not exactly taking rejection too well.

The movie becomes very claustrophobic when we are inside her house, and I was inclined to think he would never leave, movie endings being bummers as they tend to be now.

The physical torture with nails and a drill is fraking fantastically shot, with, for me, the right amount of humour. I need humour in my horror, it breaks the tension, gives that release that the horrific images and stunning sound design in this movie build up. 



Rating - I've seen it once and I don't think I can rate it yet. It needs to settle. It's damn good and I recommend it. That's all I got folks. 



Hasta Luego